Episode 39 Show Notes

Episode 39 Show Notes

The riff on Brian’s son as a local sniper may have been slightly inspired by this fantastic sketch from Armando Iannucci.

The riff on doing one’s online shopping while in a city council meeting inspired by this true story.

AUTOMATICALLY BUT NOT NECESSARILY ACCURATELY TRANSCRIPTION OF THE EPISODE:

okay now our tour bus is entering the
historic Capitol Hill organized protest
area known as chop more chest depending
on who was in charge on your left where
kill all pigs is spray-painted on the
wall is the former Starbucks which
served as a weapons depot trauma center
mark and makeshift toilet where I’m
pointing you can see the entrance to
what was called harmony park network
white people owning that but he blends
in to fight racism now if you look down
for the bus you’ll see the chalk outline
of a dead person and inside the chalk
outline you can see the dead person
because sanitation crews were not about
in here on the corner is a sub shop
where shop citizens could trade sex for
drugs or deli meat you’re probably
wondering what that odor is well if you
look to my right you’ll see feces
Mountain the 2-story belong to the
revolution which was constructed with a
proprietary blend of human and vegan
feces now just beyond feces none you can
see what was the no cob co-op where
citizens could get free water hand
sanitizer and robbed at knifepoint won’t
slow down here’s even take photos we’re
looking at the SUV that chuck security
forces riddled with bullets know what’s
amazing is that with all the bullets
that were fired only one 16 year old was
killed a testament to the accuracy of
CHOP security we’re now passing defund
the police alley which for the month of
June was the sexual assault capital of
the world
and on your letter everyone’s politics
rising total economic collapse you are
listening to questionable material with
Jack Hellmuth and Ryan sack this episode
poaching zoo Lyme disease round three
and everything is problematic I think
we’re gonna not do the 13 year olds
military camp in Alabama yeah in a
couple of weeks because just it seems
like they’re going backwards yep
and also getting there as a logistical
nightmare not feeling it
yeah plus they announced they’d have
social distancing protocols in in a boot
camp which means and how do you do
drills when you’re six feet away from
here your comrades
yeah I don’t know you know so the 13
year old was gonna have military camp
that was the only camp that was
insisting they were going to happen and
it was down in battleground Alabama what
does he hope to get out of this military
camp for your 13 year old for this
specific child what was the hope his
choice he made the decision he wanted to
go and it’s a very you you get there and
they shave off your hair and they yell
at you and you get your fatigues and
your bunk and everything else and it’s
very similar to what I did when I went
to my Marine Corps military camp when I
was 13 right you know it’s just you step
off the bus and say what are you what
are you looking at maggot I’m like oh my
god you know and the next thing you know
your heads being shaved so I was very
excited for him huh but it’s just not
gonna happen
he’s he’s your town assassin is that
right he’s the town of Sasson yeah he’s
I mean we we hired him to make country
life more exciting so the town did like
your town council like you were speaking
about last week hired him to make the
life more exciting yeah so what they did
was they hired him paper route
yeah well cuz you know you can’t get
legit work at 13 you don’t have the work
papers mm-hmm so they hired him to snipe
from rooftops and just kind of keep
people on edge why do you want to keep
people on edge in a sweet small town
because it can get kind of dull you
No okay you don’t have the vibrancy that
you have in the city you don’t have the
fireworks every night between 11:00 p.m.
and 4:00 a.m. you don’t have the mass
protesting or the you know the rioting
you don’t have the traffic the honking
the random people walking down the
street screaming at shadows and then
voices in their head so it gets really
quiet you just hear crickets mm-hmm you
know and then during the day you know
people just going about their business
and their gardens are doing whatever so
you know to hear a crack of gunfire from
a Draganov every once in a while is
actually you kind of invigorating I
suppose so now are there any sort of
rules of engagement you know is he given
specific targets what how does this work
no it’s it’s anything goes I mean he’s
you know he’s got his Draganov and he’s
got his scope and you know as long as
he’s not visible like if you see him
you’re supposed to point out him and say
I see you at which point he’s actually
obliged to step down or climb out of
wherever he’s hiding right but if you do
if he you know if he gets somewhere and
you don’t see him he’s able to take a
shot and and and is he is he really
going forward to me is he looking for
headshots yeah he’ll do whatever he can
you know he’s not super good with the
Dragunov it’s a new rifle for him until
in you know previously he’s had
experience with BB guns and some ear
soft so the recoil really throws him off
I bet it literally throws him off well
yeah yeah no he well he’s fallen in the
trees a couple of times luckily he’s
just only been scratched up nothing
broken but no he got you know he’s tried
for headshots obviously as a sniper does
he got his shoulder he got a foot uh-huh
he really messed up a BMW x6 really
lovely car and so is he enjoy it and he
gets paid I guess paid in cash if
there’s a paperwork issue well he gets
he gets paid per kill PPK
so as of yet you know he hasn’t been
paid but it’s still you know it’s kind
of like a commission it’s like it kind
of keeps you going the lure of that
first Commission and
your son is finding that same thing
where he’s on the hunt for for blood and
for Commission he’s yeah I mean it’s you
know it’s it’s nothing personal like he
doesn’t have anything against the people
he’s shooting at but he does have a
desire to go into business to make you
know to make money he’s got you know
video games he’d like to buy and various
LEGO sets that are quite pricey that
he’d like to purchase and this is one of
his ways of reaching that goal so how
many this is there’s a part of me that
likes the entrepreneurial spirit of this
whole thing and and and adding a little
spice to small town life
there’s also part of me that doesn’t
like being murdered randomly ya know you
get that push back by some of the people
in the in the town okay I bet and yeah
as you know I’m on the Town Council and
and you know we’ve definitely we’ve
heard that a few times people saying I’d
like to go about my day without fear of
a gunshot cracking out and me leo losing
a loved one or me myself you know
falling dead and we say you know I
understand I hear you I hear you and we
nod that you understand yeah half the
time I’m not listening I’m actually
doing online shopping council meeting
yeah I mean they’re long and they’re
tedious and mattoon out but at what I’ve
learned in the years of doing this is
you just kind of you nod and that just
you know people assume you’re listening
cuz you’re nodding at whatever they’re
saying it’s an affirmation it makes them
feel good that’s a great note I mean
that that that it never even occurred to
him that that’s a great note for people
who aren’t even trying to kill people in
their town no that came straight from
Dale Carnegie’s how to win friends and
influence people wow it’s really strong
right which I call I call that my Bible
oh that’s nice
yeah and what do you call your Bible how
to win friends and influence people what
do you call the King James Bible that’s
an abomination I stray I’m strictly Lois
Jenkins edition
what I didn’t notice a new king james i
don’t know louie Jenkins yeah Louie
Jenkins was a you know a farmer in the
early 1800s who had a Bible and then
just kind of he said I want it you know
I want to do God’s Word my way oh and so
he kind of took his favorite chapters
and mashed him up a bit and added some
fanfiction stuff in there and it’s just
really it’s oh it’s a lot more readable
there’s no he took out all the vows and
you know oh my gosh and all their
pretentious cants and stuff like that
like that’s just why would you do that
come on must be a thin book then yeah
it’s like 48 pages but it’s single
spaced it’s single spaced so I mean it’s
it’s like 48 whole pages sure yeah of
course
so alright so you’re in the town council
meeting probably a large portion of the
town is in the council meeting probably
screaming about your boy I’ll be there
and and what that you were there no no
no I wasn’t there I I’m just I’m just
sort of assuming oh that’s funny cuz
that’s exactly what it was yeah yeah and
so everyone’s in there and and your
online shopping yeah like what what
can’t wait what are you shopping for
like secondhand clothing you know
because I do a lot of stuff outdoors and
stuff and I don’t like getting you know
monkey and trails on my pants and so I
you know I’m looking for pants that are
essentially disposable why why are there
monkey entrails anywhere near you well
because I have a monkey zoo gosh I see I
didn’t know that yeah we haven’t seen
each other in like four months right now
well since that I started a monkeys ooh
I got a variety of got Capucines and you
know baboons aren’t really monkeys but I
just I looped them into the whole thing
and I get four gorillas and they’re
unruly and they’re unappreciative oh
that’s even worse than being unruly
yeah but they would learn that when you
feed them what you do say it’s like with
your kids when you do with them a favor
not it’s not even a favor when you help
keep them alive and they don’t
appreciate it yeah and I know they don’t
understand
I’m saying but I’m just yelling at them
all the time you know what I captured
you in the jungle I put you on a free
flight to upstate New York okay I
dragged you to my compound that’s
surrounded by a big electric fence I’m
letting you run around and do your thing
and you’re so ungrateful and here you
are flinging poo at me and breaking
things and climbing up my beautiful
locust trees and in breaking off
branches cuz locust trees are very weak
because they they grow very rapidly so
they just don’t hold up and these guys
don’t appreciate that you know what’s
amazing is that this is the exact same
conversation that you had with your wife
when you brought her over is that right
it’s very similar she doesn’t fling poo
okay but being a being a foreigner you
know having married you for citizenship
she’s from Poland well as our longtime
viewers well now we have viewers now
[Music]
listeners will know right miss Stevie as
our longtime listeners will know your
wife is from Poland yeah
and so this I mean everything you just
said it sounds exactly like how you got
her to this country and how she wasn’t
appreciative at first yeah that mean she
you know I dragged her hair is
surrounded by the fans she was crying
out my trees the ones that can’t support
weight and as you know she’s not thin no
I know she’s um I you know I forget the
turd the politically correct term
I think it’s monstrous and so you know
poor things trying to climb the trees
and get a little exercise and just
snapping off the limbs one by one the
trees out in the yard are all devastated
it’s a shame I have this sugar maple and
all the anything she could reach was
snapped off and then there’s a broken
stepladder at the base of the tray just
left it there who knew that this would
probably be a great help that she sort
of broken your land for the monkeys ooh
yes way the monkeys can’t climb out and
escape well they’re much more adept so
they can really just scurry up the tree
and then they’re not as heavy as a wife
so they can just kind of grab on to
different limbs and swing and stuff you
know the neighbors get a little upset
because they will cross her over into
the neighbor’s yard and fling
with their kids as the kids are swimming
and stuff I try to explain that it’s the
pride playing with the kids but I really
don’t know cuz I’m not a monkey ologist
yeah I know I’ve been meaning to talk to
you about that I do that does concern me
for your monkey zoo yeah there aren’t
many of the monkeys left anyway and once
I get that new pair of pants I’m pretty
sure the mighty Zoo is over yeah why
aren’t there a lot of monkeys left
because I’ve been killing them
I’ve been poaching them on my own
property why I wanted to feel what it
was like to be a poacher okay and so I
pretend that my yard is like an African
jungle reserve you know where animals
are protected and I pretend that I’m
secretly infiltrating so I can approach
a rhinoceros so I can saw off the horn
and then grind it up to make medicinal
powder that I can sell the China for a
lot of money but instead I come across
like a family of baboons and that’s when
I start firing and thus the monkey
entrails being everywhere exactly and
that’s why you need a pair of pants that
are preferably secondhand so that’s why
you’re shopping at the town council
meeting all comes back to the town
council meeting yes man that makes so
much sense so okay now we’re closing
stuff up nicely here now this is now
that you you did breed with your wife
and create a two children did that was
great by the way
yeah the breeding with her it’s fun
it’s yeah yeah if she’s is she is she a
popular lady in the zoo well that yeah
the monkeys of course certainly try but
you know she’s turned off by any poo
flinging oh yeah gotta be tough for you
I mean it’s funny for me to watch
because you know they’re throwing poo at
her but then trying to lure her up into
the trees which I’ve stated she’s
incapable of climbing so it’s just fine
she tries to run away would inevitably
falls it’s just it’s it’s actually a
good form event
during the quarantine monkey strike
unsuccessfully to mate with your wife
yeah I mean I you know it’s what else
you got to do these days your neighbors
must hate you I mean it must be there
must be some loud sounds coming from
your house yeah there are I mean that’s
that’s what the other police reports say
and that’s one of the reasons I’m behind
the defund the police movement because
they’re always here always yeah I think
this is what people are talking about
for for this sort of injustice to end I
certainly believe they are abusing me
mm-hmm and not letting me be free no no
I don’t want to wear a mask I see you
know I’ve said that numerous times I I
won’t go to the grocery store I don’t
even need groceries and I’ll just walk
in there and be like I do not need a
mask ladies and gentlemen that’s great
yeah you know what Price Chopper doesn’t
think that yeah well so it’s a town
councilman Bryan yep walks in and then
they must say here is again yeah it’s
funny you say that they do they do kind
of have that look like oh my god the
fourth time today but for me it’s not
about how many times you do it it’s
about the quality mm-hmm you know I’ve
perfected my outrage some people have
that flag that says don’t tread on me
yes of course
well I have the one that’s not as
popular that says how dare you force me
to do anything like that ever not as
clever but more to the point right sure
I’m on antibiotics again jack now what
why would that be Brian well here’s the
story so I woke up at five in the
morning on a Tuesday with a hundred 102
degree fever geez so my first thought
was that I had no know what because I no
I don’t think so because that was when
the prison assault and that was eight
years ago and I feel like a
anything was gonna materialize it would
have by now sure so I yeah
why didn’t you assault that guy by the
way I wanted to show my dominance in the
prison system and that’s one of the
first things you need to do you walk
into the lunchroom you make sure
everybody’s looking at you and you let
them know you’re not gonna take any crap
from anybody and then usually that
involves punching the biggest guy in the
room well they see I didn’t read that
far I just knew you had the target the
biggest guy in the room
and I thought I’m not a violent type the
gang in the in the cafeteria yeah a lot
of them didn’t finish so afterwards I
pretty much went around us sweeping up
the toast and gravy like I got it I was
stuffed good because then afterwards I
was in solitary for three months 102
fever yeah so then what we said then if
you if he wasn’t AIDS what when do you
think it was immediately thought it was
kovat oh right because that’s all the
rage right now yeah it’s very trendy
especially in some states and I went and
got Chester they did the nasal swab you
know six feet into the back of my head
oh and it wasn’t that horrible but I did
sneeze like a maniac once they took out
I kept holding back this sneeze and she
had to be in there for ten seconds with
all with us yes she puts it back there
and she’s swabbing around very
delicately she was gentle but I felt the
sneeze coming like please God do not
sneeze all over this person and but as
soon as she pulled out I was like oh but
anyway so I had my Cova test and then
for good measure they said do some blood
tests for Lyme and all the other
tick-borne diseases and then a couple
days ago I found that it was Lyme again
he’s third time I’ve had Lyme those
freaking little ticks hi so now I’m on
antibiotics for three weeks and the
great part about is that they make you
hypersensitive to sunlight and so I have
to be very very careful when I go
outside cuz I’ll never
forget my 13 year old like two years ago
and he went to camp and he came down
with Lyme right before camp and he got
antibiotics right before attending camp
when he came back he had sunburn under
his fingernails
oh my god yeah he was a mess oh my god
so I’m being very very careful for the
next three weeks oh my I never heard of
such a thing that’s crazy that crazy I
had my wife was like oh my god like it
was ridiculous so you have Lyme disease
for the third time yep
so where did you have the bullseye tick
target thing I did like right here
basically right above my genitals Wow
which my wife interpreted as an
invitation as did everyone at the gas
station because I like to weird low
rider’s shorts I know they’re really low
in a halter top mm-hmm and here’s this
bullseye pattern right above the groin
there and people just fixate on it
that’s a shame yeah and then they just
look at me and I look back at them we
make sustained eye contact and they jump
to conclusions good like I’m looking for
something right
and yeah I mean you’re just you’re just
out like getting some gas like getting
ready to you know teach your online
belly dancing class and look why why are
they why they don’t shouldn’t treat you
like that
people are very presumptuous I think to
to approach you to wink and you know
when they they get a wink back they
think that’s a thing and then you know
next thing you know they’re groping you
and you’re saying yes yes yes when you
mean no you want to say no yeah but you
just keep saying yes yeah that’s it mmm
why is what I want to know and I think
there’s got to be some kind of weird
psychological thing going on well you
say the opposite of what you want to say
right I didn’t really did I want him to
come over no what did I say you want to
come over my place 100%
yeah your wife must have been a little
freaked out she was busy because she was
being chased by a Capuchin it’s straight
strange living up there my friend
I definitely think maybe they a lot of
this Lyme disease has affected your
brain yeah well I do I do notice the
extra ringing in the ears and little
dizzy disoriented woke up next to four
strangers so weird medicine so okay so a
little tinnitus yep a little maybe a
little vertigo and then in a complete
stripping down of your sexual defenses
yeah apparently that’s what antibiotics
do I cannot say no to anybody it’s crazy
and you’re a very strict heterosexual
right this despite the many stories
we’ve stolen the podcast today
absolutely 100% mean yeah you know me I
mean I was my high school yearbook was
like straight pride Brian was my
nickname and then you know all four
years I was in the straight pride Club
mm-hmm and then fours freshman and
sophomore year I did straight field
hockey traduz and then you know I didn’t
junior and senior year was wrestling but
straight in parentheses uh-huh you know
there’s a lot of yeah I thought I made
it very clear well you know we talked a
little bit about this last week oh did
we talk about this a little bit last
week jack oh yeah we did we did we did
was the thing I’m not to to talk about
we did all right then I believe you and
then yeah just just take my word for it
some point you just need to believe I
believe you okay thank you
so cancel culture yeah very big right
now huge everyone is going back and
looking at every piece of art that has
been done over the last 50 years to find
the one or two problematic pieces and
just since we recorded a week ago so
many different TV shows
a 30 rock again unbreakable kimmy
schmitt community scrubs a couple others
this is just in seven days have gone
back and you know they’re editing out
things from there that are episodes of
their shows that have been streaming you
know movies have been taking off
streaming services canceled culture is
in full swing right now and I you know I
just read that there is a bunch of
changes made to some very classic TV
shows and movies that that I know you
know a lot about oh right yes I am a TV
historian movie historian yeah I know
you are so I’m so yeah this is gonna be
really interesting to hear and probably
very easy oh it’s gonna be so easy
because you’re gonna know as soon as you
hear the movie or TV show you’re going
to know the problem that they’re gonna
have to go back and and either cut out
shows that are old or you know maybe if
there’s a new show the show that’s
currently on the changes they’re gonna
have to make right so I’m very excited
to hear how they’re avoiding
cancellation of these properties by
editing them down so the first one Brian
would be back to the future oh yeah back
to the future yeah so could you tell us
what sort of is problematic about about
back to the future for the modern-day
audience that they’d have to go back and
edit it yeah well the big thing you know
the doc yeah of course doc doc what doc
brown that’s right exactly I was
quizzing you Doc Brown
they they’re gonna go back and they’re
gonna remove the scene where he’s
basically saying eugenics is the future
because there’s this whole scene you
know the reason they’re in the lab and
he’s he’s showing basically the perfect
human and then sorry is like whole
gallery of the subhumans and how he’s
going to take the best qualities from it
from each and put them in and create the
ultimate human being and then basically
develop a virus to kill all others and
so that now is viewed as problematic so
they’re gonna go back and remove that
scene it’s gonna make the movie you know
12 minutes shorter and I’m not sure you
know if people will miss it or not but I
don’t like them just destroying the
original integrity of the film
absolutely leave leave what the artists
were initially trying to she’s trying to
say yeah he’s just like eugenics is the
future you know I said it like that yeah
that’s good yeah doc you were what what
else did he sort of say in that sort of
that’s that sort of energy and that Doc
Brown energy because I’d have trouble
picturing the the the quotable quotes
from that scene I was like the under
people must be aborted something like
that was one yeah under he called them
under people yeah it was like an homage
to the Hitlerian eugenics program right
won’t romantic Robert Zemeckis
yep yep do you remember from that scene
I mean a 12-minute scene there had to be
a heck of a lot of them quotable quotes
in there yeah I know Jewish blood it’s
the other one he seemed very excited
American you know so huh yeah you know I
I’m not a supporter of canceled culture
maybe this one isn’t that bad it just
depends how you look at it I don’t like
altering movies for the sake of some you
know the cause of a zeitgeist right yeah
I’m with you I’m generally with you just
that example is little iffy
okay what about The Sopranos
for me that’s top two greatest TV shows
ever made Oh The Sopranos yeah I
remember that was so there was a I don’t
remember in season four mm-hmm
where he basically
they there’s a scene where there’s
another gang that’s dealing drugs yep
and Tony pulls up with Michael Imperioli
‘s character
yeah Christopher yeah Christopher that’s
like they pull up in the street corner
and this guy leans in and Tony says to
him yeah I don’t want to see you here
next week if you if you’re dealing drugs
in this corner next week you’re a dead
man and then they drive off but the
problem there is the the guy on the
street corner was a black and so it’s
viewed I mean a white Italian guy
telling a black guy what to do is
unacceptable right of course they’re not
gonna remove that scene mm-hmm they are
going to just use CGI to put like a
clown face on that on a drug dealer guy
so what he leans in the window he’s just
got like kind of like a clown face he’s
very nondescript you can’t really tell
who he is or what anything there’s no
ethnic trace there and that way it’s
less offensive yeah I guess that makes
sense except for the fact that there’d
be a clown on a street corner selling
drugs in Trenton New Jersey you know
these are things you know you can’t
really worry about when you’re trying to
appease a handful of unhappy people
mm-hmm mm-hmm
here’s another classic TV show you would
think this would be maybe above the fray
but The Cosby Show yeah you know I know
bill certainly hasn’t had the greatest
career outside of television in terms of
all the raping right but but why attack
that show now well because of the scene
there’s in one of the episodes he had
dr. Huxtable yep it has a right patient
and he hands her a bottle of pills okay
and you know because she’s got severe
heart palpitations is that you need to
take these every day to a day and then
she’s like thank you doctor and she
leaves and then he turns to the camera
he says those are placebos and he winks
and then he goes cracker and then they
credits roll you know and at the time
they added the sitcom laughter
you think the whole audience is laughing
at it but in retrospect yeah it’s a
little weird that makes me really
uncomfortable yeah that why that seems
so hatefully racist that that wasn’t
what that show was about no it wasn’t
but I mean you know you just didn’t
think about it you know you just kind of
crossed over it huh what why it’s it’s
so funny I you know why why I thought
picking on white people was sort of like
a cool thing to do right now well but
back then it wasn’t Oh
so what’s acceptable today was not
acceptable back then I see if it’s
acceptable now then why go back and
change it I would think then that they
would want to maybe put The Cosby Show
back in primetime where he’s called a
bunch of white people crackers cuz it’s
all about changing the past mm-hmm to
accommodate the now okay that makes
sense I mean it makes sense in a totally
messed up way that makes no sense
mmm here’s so you know obviously I’m a
huge fan all time period at Star Wars
that’s in the the original three Star
Wars movies were very problematic
apparently to today’s standards and
they’re currently making some hardcore
edits the fans are not gonna be happy
about wait what are some of the things
you’re hearing there well yeah the
problem was basically that the force
mm-hmm was a parish truck should develop
by the Jedi’s so it’s here it’s Jedi
supremacists and so it’s unfair to non
Jedi people to try and participate in
this to this system of spiritual energy
usage that was created by the Jedi and
so what they want to do is they want to
destroy the force down to the bottom and
rebuild up the force with more equity
and inclusiveness to non talented people
could say they have the force exactly so
anybody can say they have the force so
what would a lightsaber fight be like in
a new cut of Star Wars with when we’ve
taken out of a lot of this um you know
talent and stuff it’ll be like two
people whacking at each other with
copper pipes lot of clanking a lot of
clanking yeah okay
but I the Jedi they have a gift that
others don’t have I’m sorry that’s just
that’s just the way the galaxy works
yeah but it’s it’s unfair to people who
would like to have the force you just
don’t have the force ya know you break
down the force and you start from the
bottom and you build it up kind of like
communism and that worked out great it
didn’t work out great that’s a good
point okay there we go so Monday Night
Football they’re making big changes yes
now that’s a classic show but also one
that still airs that’s you know that’s
the the football game that America
watches every once a week yeah well I
mean it’s basically I mean how long is a
football game anyway to two hours
oh three and a three three and a half
three three and a half hours of toxic
masculinity I mean there’s no greater
display of toxic masculinity than than a
football game it’s a good point so
they’re gonna they’re gonna they want to
accommodate more people they want to
make it more inclusive like right now
it’s mostly just big beefy black and
white guys right they want they want
more you know Asian guys they want more
Jewish guys mm-hmm scholarly types and
they want they would love to see some
more lesbians in there you know who
don’t seem to be enough people from
Madagascar playing football these days
indigenous people have been you know
denied a seat at the table as it were
yeah and they deserve a chance to to get
the brain damaged or have their clavicle
broken yeah of course I mean just
because they’re not strong enough or
good enough doesn’t mean they shouldn’t
be a part of this that’s pretty much the
attitude yeah it’s like this is for too
long it’s been exclusive to people who
were they
meaty and muscular and aggressive and
and and that’s unfair to those of us and
I when I say of us I mean you who are
you know delicate pasty their muscles
have atrophied for from years of not
being used or looked at and and so you
know this is a more inclusive game I
guess so what are they worried at all
about the product in the field like what
are the games gonna be like what’s
gameplay for football gonna be like with
this new inclusiveness I mean I’m
looking forward to finding out what
happens when a guy who’s been playing
football for you know eight years goes
up against a dude who who has been
studying the Talmud for six years well I
would tune into that ya know I just want
to see what I do I would love to see
what happens but what the the toxic
masculinity that we’re trying to flush
out isn’t just you know one element of
course is is getting rid of so many of
the men yeah or hyper-aggressive but
another other changes that would take
place I would assume Brian would have to
be the way the game is played where
you’re running around hitting people all
the time you know are there gonna be
rule changes the football yeah because I
mean the way the way the system has been
operating you know the players have been
hitting and tackling other players
without their consent so it’s very
influenced by campus speech codes so
what we’re gonna see going forward will
be you know do I have permission to grab
your leg yes you may you know and then
they will grab the leg and then just
have to check in is it okay that I’m
grabbing your leg yes it’s okay alright
and it’ll be a way of ensuring that both
parties are participating in this
together and there’s not some power
dynamic where the the weaker party is
being taken advantage of
well oftentimes the person with the
football does not want to have his leg
pulled to the point where he falls down
and must stop running yeah that’s a
problem we’re running into in beta
testing is when they say no you may not
then the player immediately releases the
grasp on the leg and I mean there was
one game within ninety two touchdowns
all because the this guy would not
comply and would not consent to being
tackled so it will be worked out and it
will be a fun game to watch in the
future now okay I totally see how that
goes but you said they’re also going
back to edit some old football games
yeah it’s one thing to edit art because
it’s all sort of made up but you know
sporting events are historical they
actually happened how are you to go back
and edit actual history well I mean
obviously any white guy tackling a black
guy is problematic because he’s had
privilege that has allowed him to get to
that position of tackling the the player
who has the football that’s the point so
I mean they’re gonna just go back and to
the games and they’ll modify like any
time OJ Simpson was tackled they’ll
removed that know they’ll just assume he
had gotten the touchdown so we’ll
probably see his his track record
improved greatly
although the murders still stay at two
[Laughter]
will go through the roof they will go
through the roof because technically he
will not have been tackled by an
oppressive power structure well that’s
gonna be I feel sorry for those guys and
gals at NFL Films it’s gonna be a lot of
editing there’s a ton of work but on the
bright side there’s gonna be a ton of
editing work for any freelance editors
good point television editors will be
busy beyond belief and in this economy
that’ll be great that might be and a lot
of people are saying that you know by
the end of 2021 there will be more
television editors than teachers in this
country what and we need people to go
back and change history
yeah and these people can say you know
they can proudly say I am literally
changing history yeah you know when we
were young we were told to go and make
history right but now they’ve fixed that
messed up line of thinking and we’re
really going back and fixing yep and
when you fix history you make it all
better in the present yeah that’s a good
point thank you jack
no well no got you thank you and and you
know god bless all those editors that
they’re doing great work you’re doing
great work thank you
last one yes one of the greatest movies
of all time I have a poster up framed in
my house yeah 1982 Steven Spielberg et
yes how did the film’s best known for
you know what’s the problem with ET it’s
it’s so wonderful and loving think about
it what think about it you know you
really don’t know no it’s okay some kids
find this alien and and they help what
you just said the word kids nope alien
alien think about it comes here
illegally and is pursued by federal
authorities unacceptable if I could at
first with Twitter I’d break it up with
hand claps on laptop at like that except
clap clap-clap-clap bolt unacceptable to
treat an alien here illegally by by
chasing him with federal marshals hmm so
they’re gonna go back and they’re gonna
read it it where he gets a driver’s
license okay
and so what so he’s he’s not an alien
anymore he’s a citizen
he’s a permanent resident is what
they’re gonna call it and actually when
he gets sick he’ll event immediately
have health care yeah if he gets sick he
will be taken care of right even though
technically he’s got his own insurance
because
he has to do is pointed his stomach with
his light finger yeah you think so
so so they just give him an end to see
um so we did this he get held as they
stick around as he started voting in
elections they well you know the movie
ends with them lobbying really hard to
give him voting rights mm-hmm but then
he’s just like you know what everybody
here’s nuts and he gets back into his
spaceship and takes off oh but they had
to change that like yeah and then they
they just look up and they’re like oh we
lost a vote well Jack that was a show it
was we recorded it as we are supposed to
do every week and placed it in digital
format I feel like I’ve done my part for
America this week I feel like I did my
part for America this week but what does
America do for us Jack not a lot you
know I see the download numbers I know a
lot of people download this thing but
not a lot of people review it and it
just makes me feel a little betrayed you
know we got 74 reviews yep which is good
compadre that have been around for years
that have like – yes you know I would
love to see review jacket that really
lets people know that you are a horrible
person America feel free to review the
podcast definitely subscribe to it so
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